I wish you were here

today is June 18th, 2008.
2 years.
it has been 2 years.

i can't find the words
to say what it feels like
to be abandon
to be hurt
to be in pain

all i have is a pen and paper
and my thoughts pour out

I wish today didn't have to hurt the way it does.
I wish I could of changed what happened.
I wish I could of said goodbye.
to say I love you.
one last time.

2005 was the best year of my life.
2006 was the worst.

why did such a great year be followed by such a bad one?


From Where You Are by: Lifehouse

So far away from where you are
These miles have torn us world's apart
And I miss you
Yeah, I miss you

So far away from where you are
I'm standing underneath the stars
And I wish you were here

I miss the years that were erased
I miss the way the sunshine would light up your face
I miss all the little things
I never thought that they'd mean everything to me

Yeah I miss you
And I wish you were here

I feel the beating of your heart
I see the shadows of your face
Just know that wherever you are
Yeah, I miss you
And I wish you were here

I miss the years that were erased
I miss the way the sunshine would light up your face
I miss all the little things
I never thought that they'd mean everything to me

Yeah, I miss you
And I wish you were here

So far away from where you are
These miles have torn us world's apart
And I miss you
Yeah, I miss you
And I wish you were here

Pain

March 9th, 2007

“Pain…give yourself a name, call yourself contrition
avarice of blame”

Pain

July 1st, 2006
it is etched, scarred, and permanent
in our lonely minds
the hardest words said to us
were the ones the hurt the most

22 clueless students filled the small room
not knowing that this day
would change there life forever

when the words were said
everybody fell silent and
stared
at the ground in disbelief

when I looked up from my gaze
i saw 21 other faces
staring at the ground

it seemed as if somebody
would have pinched us
we would wake up
from this bad dream
horrible nightmare
that we feared

as my almost tear filled eyes
wondered around the room
I met Shaun’s stare
he was sitting on the end of a coffee table
and when I looked into his eyes
I saw sadness
for the first time

from that moment on
I knew this wasn’t a dream
this was a living nightmare
there wasn’t anything anybody could do
to change that

every day that followed
I knew none of our lives
would ever be the same

and to this day
we all are sitting in that same room
staring in disbelief
just as we did
on that horrible july morning