Where I Am From

I am from the log house on the hill
with the long driveway
lined with railroad ties and matching lights

I am from the four of a kind
that makes the house a home
from the pictures on the wall
to our the patio out back

I am from creating traditions
and breaking them
to making long lasting memories
and forgetting the embarrassing ones

I am from learning the basics
and standing my ground
to taking risks
and never regretting

I am from making people smile
and laughing just a little louder
to comforting a friend
and helping those in need

I am from hope
that someday I can strive
to be a better person
and to think about others before myself

I am from forgiving and forgetting
And loving and laughing

“I Remember”

I remember summers full of laughter
and believing in happily ever after
like running barefoot through the grass,
until you’re feet turned green,
or playing outside until you couldn’t see

I remember swimming up and down the pool
loving every minute of it,
absorbing the sun,
and caring for nothing in the world

I remember feeling my way
to the bottom,
planting my feet, then
springing up
out into the air
feeling so free and so alive

I remember feeling those small drops of water
hit my back like small bullets
and swimming upside down under water
just to watch
the rain make puddles on the surface

I remember jumping up and down
on the diving board just to see
how high I could get
until one day I lost my balance
and came crashing down
leaving bruises on my shins
but coming to the surface with a smile on my face

I remember summers of innocence
and never once forgetting
who we are and where we’ve been
risking it all without any regrets
holding onto those once-in-a-lifetime moments
we will not soon forget

I remember feeling sad
knowing it was all over
but always remembering there’s always
next summer

From Across the Room

from across the room
i hear your voice
echoing in my mind
like a beating drum
i think you know
that I’m here
in this room
but even if you
would look
at me
i would still be
invisible

from across the room
i swear you can
hear my thoughts
as they scream
wanting to escape
but even if you
would dare to look
at me
i would still be
invisible

from across the room
you can’t hear
me
you can’t hear
what I want to say
you can’t hear
how much I want
to save
you

from across the room
you can’t hear
me yelling at
you please
don’t do this again
don’t hurt me
again

from across the room
I know
that no matter how
much I scream
and shout
you will never answer
my calls
you will never listen
to my thoughts
or speak words
to me

from across the room
I know
there is a reason
why we’re
like this

from across the room
I know
I remind you too
much of the
mistake
we made

from across the room
I’m lost in
thought
waiting
for you

Engagement...New Version

The night was gloomy, as the moon cast its shadows upon us. Winter was quickly turning into fall as the temperature changed. The air was still brisk and a slight breeze blew over us.

Before we knew it, the tour was over. I was sad to say by to everyone but I knew it was only a matter of time before we would be together again. Life at home changed.
We walked silently, hand in hand, around the park until Matt stopped at a small tree. It was about our height and underneath it laid a small plaque. I could feel my throat constrict as I was trying hold back the tears. The plaque read, Michael, gone but never forgotten.

We stood there, and I waited for him to speak. His hand tightened before he whispered,
“Michael was my older brother. He died in a car accident with his girlfriend a couple years ago”
When he spoke he looked into the horizon and his voice was soft. I could see his eyes had become glassy by the time he finished. Next to his brother’s tree, another tree was planted adjacent to it. It to had a small plaque laid upon it. The plaque read Ana Marie, gone but never forgotten.
After a long but comfortable pause I whispered,
“I knew your brother Michael”
We turned to face each other just as he asked, “How?”
I tried my best to hold back my tears before I whispered,
“Ana Marie, was my sister and Michael’s girlfriend”
I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer and before I knew it I was crying into his chest. He quietly whispered I’m sorry over and over into my ear. When my crying subsided, he looked me into the eyes and said,
“My brother would have wanted me to do this”
As quickly as the words left his mouth, he was kissing me. His cold hands slowly moved up my hips to my neck, sending shivers down my spine. I quietly whispered in his ear,
“My sister would have wanted me to do that”
Later that evening, we decided to go to the beach. We lie down on the beach and looked at the sky. I lay close to him to keep warm; he puts his hand around me.
We talk about whatever comes to mind and time seems to be nonexistent. He whispered in my ear if I wanted to go back to his place. I whispered yes in his ear. He smiled and kissed me beneath the stars.
When we arrived at his place, the clock was nearing twelve. He told me to help myself to anything and that he was going to get a hoodie.
His house was located on the beach where we met what seems like years before. Various pictures scatter throughout it, many of family, friends, and a few of the band. I came across a picture of my sister and his brother. I picked it up and walked out onto the deck.
My hands were shaking as I held it. It was the last picture we had of them and was taken a few days before the crash. Michael was kissing Ana Marie on the cheek and she was laughing. As I looked at the picture everything came back to me, the crash, the phone call, the sadness, the agony, and most of all, the pain. I looked out into the darkness and listened to the wave’s crash on the shore. I remembered how much Ana Marie loved the beach. She loved to bake all day in the sun while admiring the cute boys walking past her. I always asked her to come out and surf with me but as she did a few times, most of the time she stayed on the beach.
Just as I was reminiscing, Matt walked out and quietly muttered,
“Are you okay?”
He came up behind me and wrapped his hands around my waist. He concentrated on the picture that I had in my hand and murmured,
“Do you miss her?”
“There are no words to describe how much I miss her. She was my best friend… my mentor…my sister...”
As I trailed off, he whispered, “My brother. My only brother…he was my best friend.” He sighed before adding, “Before he died, he asked me to be his best man in his wedding”
Surprised, I turned around to face him and muttered, “You were going to be my brother-in-law?”
He quietly whispered, “Yes”
The tears came back and I was crying again. In my tears I cried, “She never got to say yes”
Matt comforted me by saying, “They loved each other more than any two people I know. I know she would have said yes.”
As he held me while I cried, he said, “I love you. I want to have something they never got.”
Confused, I lifted my head , “What?”
He slowly got down on one knee and through his tears whispered, “Lauren, I don’t want to lose you, I don’t imagine my life without you, I love you….will you marry me?”
By then I was sobbing and I muttered, “Yes, of course I will marry you”
He smiled and slid the ring of my finger. My hands were shaking as I marveled at the beautiful diamond. I mumbled,
“It’s beautiful”
He grinned and responded, “I know, you are”
He kisses me over and over until he grabbed my hand and told me,
“This was the ring that Michael was supposed to give Ana Marie; they found it in this coat pocket..”
I was speechless. I kept looking at the ring in awe. My emotions had surpassed being overwhelmed.
Later that night we lie in bed together. My left hand was draped across his chest. I was still in amazement that all of this had happened. He kissed my forehead. I looked up to him like a child. He stroked my hair and whispered,
“There is no other person I want to be with right now”